Becoming a Better You
by: Robert J. Escandon, MA, C.Ht.
There are things that we do throughout our lives that at times are not questioned. They happen almost without thought, as if automatic reactions to the world around us. When we think about how we are and who we are, many things can come up to the mind. Did we become the person that we always thought we were going to become? Or maybe we’re still working on that perfect vision of ourselves? Maybe, we’ve given up because “reality” has shown us it’s ugly teeth?
There is a you that is inside, that is the best you possible. This is the version of you that knows it deserves the very best in life and is not afraid to accept it. It is time to become that ultimate version of you and take what is yours.
Who we are and who we think we are may be two different ideas. We can all recall the child, that when asked what he wants to be when he grows up can’t decide if he wants to be a firefighter or an artist. Did we become the things that we always thought we were going to be? Reality within itself, or life as many refer to it is tough…at times. It’s not always this rollercoaster of bad. There’s a lot of good we can take out from even in the most questionable experiences. If we take a moment to ask ourselves the very hard questions, we’ll find very simple answers. You see, we already know for the most part if what we are doing in our lives is because we really want to do it, or we’re doing it because we feel that we have to. The point here is that there needs to be a compromise, and I’ll tell you why in just a moment. If we are doing something that doesn’t necessarily sit well with us, we are struggling. If we are struggling with ourselves, then we will only move at half speed. We are carrying that invisible weight on our shoulders that doesn’t allow us to see past our current situation. How do we get past ourselves? How do we achieve that more enlightened perspective that will ultimately allow us to live the lives that we deserve?
Awareness, Acceptance and Control.
These three terms are vital in achieving that better and more refined version of yourself. You may ask yourself why do I need to become better? You don’t. But to be able to be more aware or your surroundings, to accept what’s happening in your life will allow you to better control your circumstance. The question rather is, who wouldn’t want more control over their lives?
Awareness is simply the art of knowing what’s happening around you. When you walk into a room, you initially get a feeling. This feeling sometimes we ignore, but it is there. This feeling, your gut instinct as they call it is there to guide you. It’s there to help you get an understanding of the situation that you just walked into. This is part of being aware. You see, awareness is not just external awareness, but it is internal awareness as well. What are you feeling inside? Why do you feel this way? Asking yourself these questions will bring up that little voice that we all hear in our minds, your conscious, your guides, what ever you may refer to it, that little voice is there. I like to think of that little is the voice of your heart. At least that’s what I call it. Your heart is always talking to you, its always looking out for you and will never let you down. It will never let you down, because your heart knows what you really want. It knows what will really make you happy. Awareness begins with looking within yourself and feeling what your feeling. From there, awareness expands into the world around you and brings back a feeling, an idea or a thought that will help you understand what is actually happening around you and within you.
After awareness is Acceptance. The things that happen in life are already happening. The more we struggle against it, deny it and push it away, the more resistance we build into the world around us. Accepting that a situation is happening doesn’t necessarily mean we have to like it. We can acknowledge and accept something is happening in our lives or to someone we care about, but not necessarily like it. We’re simply acknowledging it and accepting that it is there, because it is there. Now, whether we like this or not, is a different story. The reason why acceptance is important, is because it keeps us flowing through our day. We are carrying no weight of resistance and moving along into a better position of understanding. When we resist what is happening in our lives, we are resisting the universal flow of things. The universe, within its entire splendor, is an ironic and at times satirical place. It is the old metaphysical belief that everything that happens, happens for a reason. This, for the most part is true. You see, the universe does not see in the perspectives of bad or good, it simply is what it is. While there is a very fine line here, the universe at times is blind and simply flows taking us closer to what we are truly meant to do here. What that is, is up to you. But getting there faster, and in one piece is the idea behind acceptance. Accepting the circumstance around you will liberate you from the weight of resistance, and will better enable you to flow into the best position possible.
Once you are aware of what is happening and you accept it, you are able to control it. Awareness of what is around you and what is inside you, allows you to be free of your own expectation of yourself, and whatever situation you find yourself in. Accepting what you are feeling within you and around you, also liberates you from resistance of not only the self, but resistance towards the world around you. You see, Awareness and Acceptance are intertwined. You may be ware of a feeling and accept that you are feeling it, but you may not necessarily like it. Or perhaps you do. But this is where control steps in. Why am I feeling what I’m feeling? You may ask yourself this a few times, before coming up with an answer that satisfies you. However, when you do come up with that answer you will now have control over the situation around you.
Awareness, Acceptance and Control.
This is the beginning of being able to reach that better version of yourself, that you, which you dreamt of becoming when you were a kid. By being aware of what you’re thinking of what you’re feeling, you can accept them and then slowly take the control back into your life. Good news is, your heart always knows what’s best for you. You only need to look inside to reminded if change is needed or if you’re in the right spot. Either way, you will be have more control over your life, because lets face it, you know yourself better than anybody else would know you. You live with yourself 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day. You already know that you deserve better and now, you will be able to reach that better you easier than ever before.